Dear Boo:

I lost my sister and best friend “Sadie” in October 2006. We were staying with my grandparents while my mom & dad were on vacation. Sadie got very sick and my grandparents took her away to the emergency hospital one night. She never came home! My parents returned from their vacation very upset and very concerned about me.

When I’m home alone, I am very sad. I meow at my mom when she comes home. And, I’ve become very demanding of my mom’s warm lap. I like to be “on” her at every opportunity! I sleep in bed every night with my parents. Mom gets annoyed when I walk all over her during the night. I’m not quite sure if I’m depressed, or what. Sadie and I were litter mates and were together for almost 15 years. What can I do to make myself feel better? Mom & dad give me all the love they can. And toys, and treats. But I can’t stop the “neediness.” I’m not use to being the one & only independent kitty in the house. Will I adjust soon? Any advice?

Thank you,
“Cleo”

P.S. Please send a special thanks to the doctors that sent us a condolences card!

Dear Cleo:

First of all, I want to express my condolences about the loss of your sister and best friend, “Sadie”. At age 15, that would be like a human of 77 years losing a sister! I recognize that this is a very difficult time for you, as well as for your Mom and Dad.

When cats lose a companion, they may show a variety of symptoms, including decreased appetite, being more vocal, and becoming lethargic and withdrawn; or, like you, they may become unusually needy and clingey. Behavioral changes commonly occur in animals after the loss of another pet in the home, and these changes may persist for weeks to months. This is a normal and natural part of the grieving process. Also, it is not uncommon for owner’s behavior to change with the loss of a pet, and this, too, can have an effect on surviving animals. It sounds like your mom and dad are doing everything right to try to help you through this difficult time. They are giving you lots of extra attention and affection. I imagine they are also engaging you in activities that you have always enjoyed, such as playing or going for walks. (I know, as a 15+year old myself, ‘activity’ is a relative term!).

If this has not already been done, I would also suggest that you come into my hospital for a check-up by your veterinarian. Sometimes stress (from loss of a companion, etc.) can trigger health problems that may cause or contribute to behavior changes. And since we senior citizen cats are more prone to health issues anyway, it’s always best to be safe rather than sorry and get ourselves checked out. If your physical examination and laboratory work are normal, sometimes short-term anti-depressants (drugs, herbals, etc.) can be considered if necessary. Also, I do hope that you are eating well and maintaining your weight. If not, short-term appetite stimulants may be needed, as stress-induced weight loss is not a good thing and intervention may be needed.

It is possible that adopting a new pet may be helpful, though this should always be done with caution as bringing another animal into the house may or may not be helpful to you. If your mom and dad do consider this option, be sure to counsel them to try to match the personality of the new cat with yours. (For example, a 2-month-old kitten is likely to be an inappropriate companion for a 15-year old cat like you). But when matches are reasonable, and the introduction is gradual over several weeks or so, (and with you and the new cat not being left totally unsupervised at first), a new but equally rewarding relationship may indeed form. Have your owners consider one of Chicago’s fine local shelters if they opt to go this route (Tree House Animal Foundation, Felines, PAWS, or Anti-Cruelty).

My thoughts are with you, Cleo, during this difficult time. Change is always a hard thing for us cats, and especially as we get older. I am definitely a creature of habit, and I’m a bit like a little old man in my ways, I must admit. Change is difficult for me, as I’m sure it is for you. But we’re cats, and by nature we are good at adjusting to what life deals to us. Keep your chin and tail up, I know you will be just fine.

Boo,